Motherhood is a beautiful journey filled with love, sacrifice, and joy. However, sometimes the line between selfless devotion and self-neglect blurs, leading to what is commonly referred to as the “martyr mom syndrome.”
Mother’s Day is a time to honour mothers for all we do, but are we doing too much at our own expense?
Do you find yourself doing everything because you feel like you have to then being resentful for doing it?
We tend to avoid confrontation, comply with others or just do it all ourselves when we have unhealed wounds. This unhealed trauma can get stuck in the body, leading to reactivity and suffering but it can be addressed energetically and we can unleash the lost power. It is important to note that as we step into our power and assertively express our needs, we may encounter hostility and resistance that will try to push us back into victimhood. But if we persist and let our strength shine through, we can ultimately find a balance between our responsibilities and our own needs. I recently realized my pain comes from me not asking for help and trying to do it all myself. I have chosen to recognize these patterns, heal a few wounds and stop being a martyr mom.
What are the signs you’re into mom martyrdom?
- Always Suffering: A martyr mom seems to thrive on suffering. She constantly shares stories of her sacrifices. Complaining about the lack of help and support.
- Lack of Appreciation: Despite doing everything for her family, she feels unappreciated. Instead of setting boundaries, she continues to give, harbouring bitterness.
- Emotional Toll: The cumulative effect of neglecting her own needs takes a toll. She becomes stressed, exhausted, and resentful.
- Burnout: According to a Motherly survey, 93% of mothers feel burned out at least some of the time, with 16% feeling that way all the time
Motherhood need not be synonymous with martyrdom. By empowering women to own their lives, set boundaries, and prioritize self-care, we can create a world where mothers thrive, not just survive. It is our mission at Wombvalley to ensure that children have the healthiest start in life. This begins by prioritizing the health and well-being of their primary caregivers. The best gift we can give our children is our own happiness. Happy moms create nurturing environments that children thrive in.
What can we do?
Before saying Yes and taking something on, Ask yourself some questions:
- What values are important to me? Is this in alignment with my values? If not, it is an easy no.
- Was I even asked to do this? Often we take on things that aren’t our problem.
- Will it be appreciated?
- Is it important? Is it even worth doing?
- Can I afford it -physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, financially?
Set Boundaries:
- Learn to Say No: You can say no without guilt. Boundaries protect our well-being and allow us to focus on what truly matters. If you have to choose between feeling guilty for saying no or resentful for saying yes. Say no. Guilt is the less damaging emotion to carry.
- Prioritize Self-Care: Self-care isn’t selfish; it’s essential. Prioritize your physical, emotional, and mental health. Put time in your calendar.
Shift Mindset:
- From Martyr to Empowered: we can recognize that martyrdom isn’t a badge of honour. True strength lies in balance, not self-sacrifice.
- “ I get to” or “I desire to” vs “I have to” attitude makes all the difference.
Seek Community Support and healing:
We are building Womvalley to be a supportive community where women can access healing to break the cycle of mother martyrdom (and so much more), share their experiences and truly thrive. It is our vision to be the go-to Healing Hub that changes the course of humanity through holistic healing, guidance and support throughout the parenthood journey.